The last couple of days have been a mixed bag. On one hand, the daily numbers we've been posting have been motivating and it's fun seeing others join in. On the other hand, I'm still find it frustrating being in class. Yesterday we practiced kicks on the heavy bag while holding a medicine ball over our heads and my shoulder is killing me today. I shouldn't have taken part in that but it's even more frustrating seeing everyone with their stripes when I've been missing out, so I don't want to miss out on anything else.
I'm not sure how to stop comparing myself to everyone else. Life is all about competition. You compete for jobs, you compete in sports, you compete in school, and as a child you even compete for the attention of your parents. How do you just turn that off? And how do you know when it's time to walk away? No matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be a pro hockey player. No amount of practice is going to get me there. I know that and I focus on other things. How do I know I'm not cut out for kung fu?
If you extrapolate my current progress out, I estimate it will take me over ten years to get a black belt and if you would have told me that going in, I never would have signed up in the first place. A yellow belt seems so far away to me; I can't even fathom what it will take to get a black belt. I've decided to give it to the end of the summer and see if I've made any more progress. If not, I think I'm going to call it quits. At that point I'll have been in kung fu for a year and I think that's enough time to make a fair assessment.
The progress you make cannot be measured with stripes or belts. Each and one of us has their own journey and it will not be the same. Are you in it to get a black belt? They sell them in stores... Are you in this to better yourself? If yes, then your journey will be longer than 10 years (even if you get your black belt earlier than that).
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sifu, your progress shouldn't be measured by stripes or belts. If that we're the case for me than I would have quit long ago too- I averaged a belt a year, some faster some longer. It was my attitude that made the difference, I finally figured out.
ReplyDeleteRemember, blackbelt is supposed to be a pinnacle achievement in your martial arts career and your life in general. If it was quick or easy to achieve it wouldn't be worth nearly as much. The most rewarding things in life are the things you struggle with and see through to accomplishment. When you're in class just be there for you, never mind the rest.
One theory question in the kids curriculum is the concept of healthy competition. Healthy competition is where you are competing with yourself. As both Sifu's mentioned, we each have our own journey, and each path is unique. If you try to look at your self today, and ask "am I a better person today than I was yesterday?" Even of today was a stinker, as long as you continue to put one foot in front of the other, the benefits will appear. And chances are, they will be subtle but not to the people who know you. I bet that they already see this positive change in you. It's hard to be sidelined with an injury, I think we've all been there, but I see you coming to class and while it's frustrating to not be making progress with everyone else, I promise that you will soak up a gem of information just once, and that may be what puts you over to your next level. I'm rambling, but I see you doing great things.
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