Tonight was a bit disappointing for me. It was the first time I participated in class in quite a while. The warmup was pretty taxing for me as I hadn't been pushing myself that much while I was off.
We worked on forms for the first part of class and I was really sure that I would be able to get my white stripe but unfortunately I wasn't quite good enough. I don't have anyone but myself to blame. Forms are one of the few things that I've practiced consistently while I was off but practicing at home doesn't do much if nobody corrects your form. I've had days where I did 8 or 10 reps and I feel like I wasted them all.
I know that there are people that get motivated by failure. You knock them down and they get up stronger. I'm not like that, although I wish I was. Failure doesn't motivate me; it make me want to quit. I recall a conversation that I had with Ms. Gibbons and she told me that one of the biggest reasons that she keeps coming around is the people. I think I feel the same way. I really enjoy everyone at SRKF and it always amazes me how helpful and encouraging everyone is.
I think I need to be able to train my brain to treat failure differently. Right now it always feels like the end of the world to me but I need to view it differently.
You should not view your training time as a waste of time just because you did not get your stripe today.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way in regards to failure. Someone at work recommended I should read the book "Failing Forward". You should look it up.
I'm kind of like that too, but sticking with kung fu, I know the benefits of keeping on trying even when every fibre of your being wants to give up. I've learned you don't fail, unless you give up. Kung fu is worth it, because you have to work so hard, no one is going to hand you a belt for nothing and when you get your next belt its because you worked hard and earned it. Much better than a participant ribbon I think.
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