Progress

Since my last post, I've started my new job, although not without a few hiccups in the beginning. My first couple of days were marked by panic attacks on my way in the morning. I couldn't bring myself to go to work and the thought of going was making me vomit on the side of the road. This was even with my wife driving me to work in the hopes of being able to break a possible negative mental link I had from driving long distances to work. 

After the second day of failure, my wife suggested the possibility of Ativan, or some other anti-anxiety med. Willing to try anything, I was able to get in to see the doctor that day and I procured some Xanax. Between Mel driving me and the Xanax's effects, I was able to go to work the next day with no real issues. Same for the rest of the week. After being home for the weekend, I knew that I needed to be able to drive myself to work. Mel still woke up with me, but I was able to make it in all week. I did have a small issue on Tuesday and almost didn't go in but Mel helped me and I made it, just a bit late. 

It's still a bit funny thinking and writing about having trouble going to work. It seems like such a simple and easy thing. But life isn't always simple or easy. So far, "one day at a time", has been working for me. I'm trying not to take anything for granted at the moment and just put one foot in front of the other. I've been seeing a new psychologist and I've started some new anti-depressant meds. Both have been great for me so far. My mood has been better recently than it has been in a long time. I've even been told that my company is enjoyable.  :) The next month or so is going to consist of me just going to work, getting in a positive routine. Rewarding myself for my successes and building on them as I go.