Aaarrgghh

I practiced for about an hour today and from beginning to end, it was terrible. I'm only writing this journal entry in the hope that I will look back in a couple of days or maybe a year later and laugh. But right now, I feel like quitting and never looking back. My flexibility is non-existent. I can't throw a roundhouse kick without falling off balance, and I literally feel like I'm worse today than I was the day I started. I don't even know why I'm doing this. It's a constant source of frustration to me. I'm not seeing any pay off. If I were to list the reasons that I decided to study kung fu in the first place, I'd say things like: improving my discipline, confidence, strength,  and flexibility; learning cool fighting moves, and maybe a few others. I haven't improved in any of those areas. I know that I have only been at this for about 4 1/2 months but if I extrapolate my progress out, I'm going to be at this for a decade before I make any significant progress.

There are a lot of cliches that you can apply here: "If it was easy, everyone would do it", "Rome wasn't built in a day", etc, but, to be honest, I don't know if all the effort and frustration is worth it. As a rule, I try not to make decisions when I'm angry, so I'm not going to quit. I'm assuming that tomorrow will be a better day. I guess I just needed to vent.