A Poor Start

So, the I Ho Chuan officially starts tomorrow and, despite all my preparation, I feel like I haven’t set myself up for success. I have an extremely busy weekend ahead and I feel like I would have been better served by leaving myself lots of time to complete all my requirements so that I could start with some momentum. Even if I complete 1000 pushups and situps today, they won’t count toward my 50,000 and I’m probably going to have a harder time doing my 180 tomorrow as a result. Saturday is going to be busy with the banquet, and I’m having company over for the Super Bowl on Sunday so I will have to make sure I get all my requirements done in the morning.

I guess the bright side is that I have a chance to complete my requirements this weekend and start off well despite all that’s going on around me. And I guess that’s the point – there are always going to be distractions and things that can prevent me from doing what I should be doing. It’s up to me to decide how to deal with them.

The Power of Our Kwoon

Last night I came to realize something about the Kwoon. It seems to have the power to influence me to do things that I might not normally do. As I was leaving last night after class, Sifu Playter asked me if I was excited for the 1000 pushups and situps this weekend. I replied that I was probably not going to participate as I wanted to concentrate on getting my 180 done each day and last time I was sore for a couple of days after trying for 1000. I don’t even remember what her specific response was (sorry Sifu). All I know is that she made me feel like it would be ridiculous to not go for 1000. To clarify – it wasn’t in a negative way. She didn’t berate me; she didn’t make me feel guilty. I suppose she just made me see clearly.

This is not the first time this has happened to me either. From volunteering to help with adopt-a-driveway to signing up for the I Ho Chuan, there have been several instances where I just decided to do something out of my comfort zone and each time after, I asked myself what the heck I was doing. To be clear – I don’t have any regrets. I’m excited for the I Ho Chuan and shoveling snow has, to my surprise, been a lot of fun. It’s just strange that the Kwoon (and the people in it) seem to have this effect on me. I wonder if this is the same for others.

Takeaways From Class

We had a great class last night - probably the most fun I've had since I joined. I really liked the warmup stations we had. It was a nice change from the traditional warmup and I hope we do it more often. We also worked on a few combinations and did some board breaking.

It's funny how there are so many little things to keep track of when you're throwing a punch. Making sure you have a good, tight fist, keeping your back foot on the ground for power, keeping a straight line to the target, rotating at the last minute, punching through the target, and so on. It's a lot to think about at once but getting your technique down is super important. I learned that the hard way last night when we were breaking boards. I had no trouble breaking boards with my elbow/forearm so I thought I'd try a thrust punch. My aim was off just a bit and I hit a bit left of where I should have and I didn't break the board. I also didn't strike with my first two knuckles and so my hand is a bit sore this morning.

What did I learn from this? Well, I learned that focus is very important and I think breaking the boards with my elbows made me a bit overconfident. I didn't concentrate on my punch the way I did with my elbows because I had already broken the board and it seemed pretty easy to me. I won't make that mistake again (at least not anytime soon).

I also learned that I should spend more time practicing punches. I spend far more time working on kicks than I do punches. I think that's because I'm always trying to improve my flexibility, and kicks are always in the front of my mind. I also feel like I can already throw a far more effective punch than I can a kick and so it's a matter of trying to get my legs up to speed.

Fitting In

With the banquet coming up next week and all the talk about demos and such, I've started to contemplate exactly where I am going to fit in on the Horse Team. One of the reasons that I decided to sign up for the I Ho Chuan in the first place was that there wasn't really a prerequisite for a certain level of skill. A white belt can perform an act of kindness just the same as a blackbelt. Same goes for pushups and situps. But there are other things that a white belt can't do just the same as a black belt. Weapon forms and sparring are things that I have not been taught yet. I'm also curious about how someone of my level of skill will be able to contribute to a public demo without making a mockery of the whole thing. Surely there must be a standard of quality for public demonstrations. I guess all of my questions will get answered once we start into the new year. I'm really looking forward to being on the team with a bunch of cool people and doing some amazing things.

At The Kwoon

Last night at the Kwoon was my first time on the mats since before the Christmas break. I had a pretty hard time with the warmup (basically just the squat thrusts) but I really wasn’t as bad as I thought I was going to be. Other than a painful shoulder roll where I thought I was going to die for about a minute, it was all good. I was rusty but not awful.

 I’ve read many journal entries from others where they speak about the Kwoon being their second home and about the connection they feel toward it, and while I can’t honestly say I’m at that point yet, there is something special about being out there on the mats. Practicing at home is important for sure, but there is no substitute for being out there with your classmates, getting corrections and feedback in real time from Sifus and Sihings.

Aaarrgghh

I practiced for about an hour today and from beginning to end, it was terrible. I'm only writing this journal entry in the hope that I will look back in a couple of days or maybe a year later and laugh. But right now, I feel like quitting and never looking back. My flexibility is non-existent. I can't throw a roundhouse kick without falling off balance, and I literally feel like I'm worse today than I was the day I started. I don't even know why I'm doing this. It's a constant source of frustration to me. I'm not seeing any pay off. If I were to list the reasons that I decided to study kung fu in the first place, I'd say things like: improving my discipline, confidence, strength,  and flexibility; learning cool fighting moves, and maybe a few others. I haven't improved in any of those areas. I know that I have only been at this for about 4 1/2 months but if I extrapolate my progress out, I'm going to be at this for a decade before I make any significant progress.

There are a lot of cliches that you can apply here: "If it was easy, everyone would do it", "Rome wasn't built in a day", etc, but, to be honest, I don't know if all the effort and frustration is worth it. As a rule, I try not to make decisions when I'm angry, so I'm not going to quit. I'm assuming that tomorrow will be a better day. I guess I just needed to vent.

A Great Weekend

This past weekend was a really good one. Physically, I felt much better than I have in a while. I still have pain when I try to do situps and there are a few things I don't want to try yet, like shoulder rolls, but I did a few pushups and some kicks and some form reps, and it felt so good to be doing anything at all.

I also caught up on some work around the house and it's funny how much better things seem when your house is in order, literally and figuratively. One of the things that I fixed was a shelf in my bathroom that had come loose. The drywall anchor came out from the weight that was on the shelf and there was a 1/2" hole in its place. I was unsure what to do because I needed to put another bolt in that exact same place to mount the shelf again. There were a few different options but I wasn't sure that any of them would work, other than cutting out a chunk of drywall, replacing it, and painting, which I was not keen to do. Because of my uncertainty, I left the wall for a few months. Finally I decided that doing something was better than nothing, even if it didn't work. As it turned out, my repair worked out (I used two toggle bolts) and I felt stupid for leaving it so long. The lesson was not lost on me - it's better to try and fail than to do nothing. That lesson applies to kung fu as well. Even if I can't do everything I want, I can still do a few things.

The Importance of Sundays

Tonight I came to realize that Sundays are very important if you want to have a good week. You set the tone for the rest of the week with the proper preparation. Preparation could mean different things to different people but for me it usually consists of things like: meal planning; grocery shopping; and cooking for the week ahead, cleaning or working around the house, spending time with friends and family, or maybe even just doing nothing at home by yourself. It's about doing what needs to be done.
I'm not saying that I do this all the time. But I've done it enough to know it works.

 

Tuesday Morning Thoughts

I have to be honest. I feel a little bit like life is conspiring against me to keep me from doing what I want to do. In the last month or so it seems like there has been an unending supply of distractions that have interfered with my class attendance, my practice time, and my workouts. I’m trying not to dwell on them but, now that I have hurt myself and I am looking at being on the sidelines for a while, it’s hard not to reflect on what I could have done differently. I have skipped workouts and practice when I shouldn’t have and I’ll never get that time back. My injury was the result of me being an idiot and doing something that I shouldn’t have been doing.  And just like my choices to miss practices and workouts, that bad decision was under my control. Perhaps it’s a bit disingenuous to say that “life is conspiring against me” when I am the one in control most of the time. If I really think about it, there have been a few instances where I truly had no choice (death in the family, work deadline), but most of the time I have missed, and also time that I am going to miss, is on me. Hopefully this is a lesson that I will not have to learn over again, especially with the start of the I Ho Chuan year looming.

On a positive note I’m really excited about all the support I’ve been getting at work for the I Ho Chuan. I’ve told pretty much everyone at work and they have all been asking me about it and how I’m doing. I’ve been trying to gear up and I was doing pushups at work every day. Some of my co-workers are on board too and we’ve been having pushup competitions. I can really see the benefit to telling everyone about the I Ho Chuan. Besides creating accountability it also creates a support network. I think it will really help me this coming year.

Pushups, Empathy, and a New Experience

I participated in the SRKF New Year's tradition of 1000 pushups and situps (although I didn't restrict myself to 1000 calories). Although I didn't really come close to hitting 1000 of either, I'm still happy that I did as many as I did. It was especially challenging for me because I was spending New Year's at my friend's cabin and a portion of the day was spent tobogganing and sledding. Thankfully I was smart enough to get a bunch out of the way before we headed outside. My friends were dumbstruck as to why I would ever want to attempt to do 1000 pushups and situps and, to be honest, their attitude bothered me a bit. I got over it quickly but it made me sad that my friends couldn't see the value in what I was trying to do.

I went to the gym today and it was overrun by "Januarians". In the past I have always been bothered by people that sign up for the gym and go at it for a month or two and then quit. I have always felt that they were less deserving of being in the gym than those of us that have been working out for years, and I wanted them to go somewhere else and let me work out in peace. This year I still felt the initial frustration but I tried to feel empathy. My attitude was pretty ridiculous for someone that just started to study kung fu 4 months ago. What if everyone at SRKF had my terrible attitude? I would have felt unwelcome and unwanted and I probably wouldn't have lasted a week. Thankfully that wasn't the case and here I am. 

Between the gym, traffic, and my trek to West Edmonton Mall, I was a bit frazzled when I got home today. When I practice at home I always start with a little bit of cardio to warm up and it helps to get me energized too. Today I changed things up and started with forms and some kicks. For the first time ever I found that my mind quieted down (I can't usually ever shut my brain off) and I was really able to feel what I was doing. I was practicing punches and blocks in a horse stance and I must have stayed in a horse stance for a few minutes without breaking. I was so focused on my punches and blocks that I didn't feel my legs and hips aching for much longer than usual. This was a new experience for me and hopefully I can replicate it in the future.