I'm Still Alive

I haven’t written a journal entry in quite a while. In fact, I haven’t done much of anything kung fu related in a while. I haven’t been to class and I’ve missed I Ho Chuan meetings. Over the past week I’ve resumed doing some training but I’m not doing it with a lot of enthusiasm. I’m hoping that by just going through the motions I can create some momentum.

Right now I regret joining the Sheep Team. My work schedule was made even more restrictive recently and if I can get to one class every two weeks I’ll be doing really well. And when I am home every other weekend, I don’t want to come to a Friday class; I want to spend that time with my friends or family or girlfriend. That’s the honest truth.  I feel like there isn’t a place in my life for kung fu right now. It’s not that I don’t see the benefits but there are other things that are more important to me and I can’t do both, at least not right now. I don’t anticipate things being like this forever, but for the near future, this is how it is.

I know that the I Ho Chuan program has a no quitting requirement. I don’t know what to say about that. I’ll be honest – I don’t know how to balance my work, personal life, and kung fu. I only have a few days per month to spend time with the people that are most important to me and I don’t know how to fulfill my commitment to the team at the same time.  

I’m not sure what I’m going to do but I thought I should at least write a journal entry and let everyone know that I’m still alive.