All this kindness is wearing me down. Not in the sense that I'm tired of being kind, but I'm finding that the more effort I put in to be kind, the more I see missed opportunities. Deep down I know I'm on the path to being a better person but a small part of me still can't help but wonder if I was better off before.
I feel like I'm in The Matrix and I just took the red pill. I'm seeing all the ways that people treat each other so poorly (especially myself) and that in itself can be a bit depressing. You let a vehicle in and the driver can't take the time to give you a wave. What could possibly be wrong with so many people that a simple thank you is a ridiculous notion? I feel like I should have taken the blue pill instead and then I would have been content in my ignorance.
I know that's not really true though. Sometimes contentment is a good thing. Contentment can prevent one form getting caught up in the pursuit of material things. But sometimes discontentment can be a good thing too. People that are discontent might be more likely to push themselves to be better and influence those around them in a positive way. The world needs more people to lead by example.
Like, like, like!!! Excellent blog :) (and I'm not just sayin' that to be nice!)
ReplyDeleteI totally get your struggle. At one point last year I started feeling guilty about not picking up someone else's garbage. I started feeling a bit bitter about trying to be a better person while the Jackasses of the world reaped the benefit. Its hard to be a better person when arguing with the voices in your head. Ignorance definitely is bliss, but I think the biggest problem is that there are too many ignorant people out there. Our job is to lead by example. Although, that is really hard to do and it can wear on you sometimes.
ReplyDeleteConfusion is the start to great things as long as you embrace it
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