I'm having a hard time continually being kind to others. The last couple of months have helped me to be a bit more aware of opportunities to be kind but at times I feel like I'm getting tired of it. In the same way that eating very well for a long period of time makes me really crave junk food, now I find myself pushing back against the idea of being kind. I know that makes me sound like a terrible person, but that's honestly how I feel. Maybe I am a terrible person that just does good things occasionally.
I probably shouldn't admit this but when I prevent another driver from getting into my lane, it makes me feel good. I've often said that traffic shows the worst part of humanity and Alberta drivers are particularly bad and I think that maybe I feed off of that negativity. I do feel like I've made strides to improve recently. It's been a while since I lost my temper but I can feel things starting to regress a bit. I've been using more hand gestures toward the other drivers and I'm having a hard time feeling calm behind the wheel. This has, in turn, affected my attitude even after I get out of my vehicle.
I'm thinking about creating a log book of sorts that will track where I'm headed and when I'm driving so that maybe I can identify a pattern and possibly mitigate the circumstances that cause me to get upset. I know that this is only part of the equation and that self-control is the other part. In the meantime I guess I will continue to try to be part of the solution, instead of the problem.
You are on the right track by looking deeper. Most of the things that make us angry are only the catalysts of the outburst, not the cause. Understanding the true cause of our anger is the first step in dealing with it and eliminating it.
ReplyDeleteIn my background, I am native, I was told by one of my elders that there is good and bad in everyone the part that we feed will prevail. I was a negative person for a while in my life and it took a long time to change. But I try to only feed the good I'm me now. Hope this helps a bit
ReplyDeleteThis is the part of your journey that you will need to do on your own, I support you 100% and if you need a sounding board, I'm here. I agree with the other two comments, what happens next has to come from inside and you need to understand it, only you can do that :)
ReplyDeleteMr Smid, how you sound is not as important as seeing yourself for who you are. Most people don't have the self honesty or self esteem to really look at themselves and admit the things about themselves that they don't like. We all try to spin our point of view to make ourselves sound better than we are and to justify the things we do as not that bad. How do you fix something if you don't see it for what it really is. Your self honesty is a great asset. Keep going and know that regardless of how you sound, I respect you more for having read your true thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWe all have slip ups on the never ending path we find ourselves on. I was once told a stat that said positive people out live the rest of us. So is it worth nurturing the positive? I think so but only if you are happy with where you are and where you hope to get to. Mastery is a great destination and the journey is even better.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your comments. They are much appreciated.
ReplyDelete