One of the requirements for the I Ho Chuan is to log 1000
acts of kindness. I have an uphill battle to complete this requirement. I’ve
started going over my days to think of any acts of kindness I have performed
and I draw a blank every time. And this isn’t a case of just forgetting them; I’m
truly not being kind to anyone. Sifu Playter logs her acts of kindness on her
blog so I started reading through her posts to see what kinds of acts she’s
logging. Her acts are mostly little things like making lunch for her husband or
spending extra time with her family or pets. I don’t have a family at home who
I can make lunches for or spend time with or anything like that. All my
kindness has to be directed at strangers if I want to meet this requirement. This
is going to be tough. I don’t feel like I’m an unkind person; in fact, I feel
the opposite is true. I’m friendly to people for the most part. But what I’m
realizing is that I let “life” get in the way of being kind.
For example – I am an awful person when I’m behind the
wheel. If you’re not in the car with me you’re my enemy. I’m impatient and aggressive
when I drive. If I changed my driving habits I could probably knock out the
1000 acts of kindness in a month or two. I understand that I choose to be angry
when I drive and that I can choose to not be angry. I don’t know what it is about
driving that sets me off because I’m not like that in any other facet of life.
I think maybe it has something to do with control. I can’t control if someone
else is driving slowly in front of me so I get angry. I can’t control if
someone speeds past me and cuts me off so I get angry. I need to try to have
empathy toward other drivers so I can be kind when I’m on the road. I have no
way of knowing why that person is driving like they are. Maybe they’re rushing
home because their wife is having a baby. Maybe they just got laid off and they’re
distracted. Who knows?
The point of this requirement is two-fold. I’m quoting from
the SRKF website: “Mindfully recording your daily acts of
kindness will make you more aware of the impact you are having on others and
also make you aware of the opportunities to make a difference that you are
missing.” It’s painfully obvious that I’m not currently having a very positive
impact on others. The upside is that I have a HUGE opportunity to turn it
around.
It's really awesome that you recognize this in yourself. First - remember to try to use empathy. That guy speeding that cut you off, might be racing to a family emergency. We just don't know. Second - you can perform acts of kindness to yourself too. Holding a door for someone counts, making eye contact with the cashier helping you, or smiling at someone counts. The advanced black dragons also have this requirement. To log 100 acts of kindness in 1 month, the hardest part is writing it down. I have no doubts that do many kind things without realizing it.and I think you will surprise yourself. Good luck with your journey. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the advice and the vote of confidence Sifu. I hope that I am doing some kind things and I'm just not noticing them. This requirement is definitely an eye-opener for me though.
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